The Science Behind the Bond between Pets and their People

The Science Behind the Bond between 

Pets and their People

The relationship between pets and their people is far more than companionship, it is a biologically driven bond shaped by neurochemistry, learning and shared experience. Studies show that the attachment pets form with their caregivers closely resembles human attachment patterns, underpinned by complex interactions between the brain, nervous system and hormones.

When we interact with our pets through calm touch, eye contact, play and daily care, both human and animal experience increased release of oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone.” Oxytocin promotes feelings of safety, trust and relaxation while lowering stress hormones such as cortisol. Over time, this repeated hormonal feedback loop strengthens the emotional connection and reinforces a sense of security.

It’s very common for pets to show a stronger attachment to one family member, and this is not about preference or favouritism. From a scientific and behavioural perspective, pets tend to bond most strongly with the person who consistently meets their core needs and helps regulate their nervous system.

This may be the individual who:

• Feeds them or prepares their meals
• Spends the most calm, predictable time with them
• Provides comfort during stress or illness
• Engages in training, walking or play
• Has an energy or routine the pet finds soothing

Pets are highly sensitive to emotional states and body language. They often gravitate toward the person whose presence feels most regulating to their nervous system, someone who is calm, patient and predictable. This is especially true for sensitive animals or those with a history of stress or uncertainty.

From a holistic perspective, strong attachment is not a problem, it is a sign of emotional intelligence and social connection. Pets are social beings designed to form close bonds, and these attachments support emotional stability, immune health and overall wellbeing.

However, when attachment becomes the primary way a pet feels safe, challenges can arise during times of separation or change. In these cases, the nervous system may struggle to self regulate, leading to stress related behaviours. Understanding this allows us to respond with compassion and support rather than viewing these behaviours as disobedience.

A holistic approach to supporting healthy bonds focuses on strengthening resilience while preserving connection. This includes maintaining predictable routines, encouraging gentle independence, providing mental and sensory enrichment, and supporting the nervous system through appropriate nutrition and herbal or integrative therapies. From a Traditional Chinese Medicine perspective, emotional balance is closely linked to the Heart and Liver systems, with treatment aimed at calming the Shen (spirit) and promoting internal harmony.

By honouring the depth of the human – animal bond and supporting pets as emotional beings, we help them feel secure, confident and connected, not just to one person, but within the whole family.